My Mom, the Party Crasher

Austin, TX | October 21, 2020

It is well after 1:00 AM and I just got off of a video call with my parents and their life long friend, Rusty. They were reminiscing on Halloweens past and reminded me of the year my Mom, Val, and her longtime friend, Renee, crashed a raging costume party at the house across the street.

Renee had just moved into a condo in a young, lakeside neighborhood and she set up a table in the driveway for she and Val to sit at and pass out candy. After a few trick-or-treaters passed through the driveway, Val’s attention shifted to the party-goers arriving across the street. A young man dressed as Where’s Waldo parked his car in front of Renee’s house and found himself the subject of Val’s heckling. What I’m sure was a casual attempt to excuse himself from the conversation, Waldo invited Val and Renee to join the party. Little did he know they would follow through.

The two moms in their mid 50’s ditched their candy distribution station and made their way into a Halloween party who’s demographic was 30 years their minor. As expected, they became the life of the party. One attendee on fall break from college classes recognized Val as her childhood nurse. Over the bumping bass she yelled, “You’re the one who checked me for scoliosis, aren’t you?!!”

As the night went on, Val and Renee grew comfortable enough to start answering the door and handing out candy at a house they let themselves into. Val was wearing her usual color-coordinated sleeveless polo, skort and Sketchers. A young party goer remarked over the loud music, “Hey, great costume!” The same comment was made when Val crashed their Christmas party a few weeks later while wearing her annual holiday printed mock turtleneck, matching earrings and colorful eyeliner.

Val was the life of the party at my college homecoming, too. I went to college in a small Arkansan town where the locals kept their doors unlocked and knew their neighbors by name. A friend who had grown up there had mentioned that she kept her car keys inside her unlocked car and Val jumped into action. “We need to teach her a lesson about car safety,” Val said with earnest. Later that day, most of the campus, including that friend, went to a concert in the auditorium. While the campus was empty, Val hatched a plan with me and my dorm-mate Paulina to hijack the unlocked car and park it on the dorm courtyard. It’s important to mention that Val was on crutches from a knee injury at the time. My dad was stationed behind the dorm in the “getaway car”.

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