Overheard at Lady Bird Lake
Austin, TX | March 10, 2020
I am roller skating on a landing overlooking Lady Bird Lake. Two young women in their early 20’s stopped to stretch and dish on recent Tinder dates. I’m all ears.
“I don’t mind giving it to him, but I don't know.”
“Is he shy?”
“You’d expect him to be, but get him naked and he’s pretty forward! It’s not that, it’s just… I can fuck without love, but it’s hard for me to separate the two.”
“Oh, me too.” Long pause.
“Usually I don’t like giving head, but this one guy in Vegas- we were in a penthouse and it just felt so classy.”
May 29, 2021
I am back at Lady Bird Lake walking from the boardwalk to the Congress Bridge. Even though I have headphones in, my main entertainment on today’s walk is the snippets of conversations I head passing me by. Here are my favorites.
Two bros jogging together: Bro, she’s not texting me much, she’s leaving me on read. That’s cause she wants you in her boat, she wants you in her boat again. But you’re the captain of your boat man, your boat.
Two friends walking by the Cidercade: I never realized how many allergies I had until now! That happened with a friend of mine when he went and walked around Africa for two months and got a parasite. That’s how they found all of his allergies. I’m pretty sure you’re wrong about all of that.
A young woman of color to her visiting parents: Last summer, when George Floyd was murdered and protests started here, no one was prepared for the shit that went down. No one thought the police would turn on us like that. Her dad: Thats what they do though, honey. They’ve always been turned on you.
A bro to his group of paddle boarders packing up their Jeep: No seriously, A Midsummers Night Dream is a play meant to be seen on mushrooms. I swear, it’s how it was meant to be experienced, bro.
Two millennial friends walking side by side on the boardwalk: What do you wanna do tonight? Honestly, sleep. I could sleep.
A sunburnt red head talking at his gaggle of fellow paddle boarders on the water: Y’all know Eric? We all know Eric! Eric is such a little slut! He’s ruined the name for me. When I hear the name Eric now all I think of is ‘slut!’
A middle aged couple power walking through a clearly emotional conversation: No he can’t tell you what he did, but he WAS there that night! He might not have had the kids when he strapped that on his chest, but I imagine he thought of the disappointment in their little faces and simply couldn’t take it anymore! So NO he can’t tell you what he did, but he sure as hell did it!”
November 7, 2021
Today’s walk was from underneath the I-35 Bridge all the way to the dam and back. At first I listened to the “Theft By Finding” audio book by David Sedaris. Then I took a note from his diary and tuned in to the people around me. People were moving fast today because of the crisp air, but a handful of words stuck out along the way.
A millennial woman in spandex exercise clothes walking next to a friend: It’s hard to transition back to the office, back to people, back to being talked over by men.
A middle aged saxophonist playing “When the Saints Go Marching In” on the landing underneath the bridge: His velvety notes reverberated on the metal and cement, booming out from underneath the highway. A small crowd had gathered. He finished his song and said, “Any of y’all in a band? Me neither. I heard someone warming up on a sax at a restaurant 8 years ago and fell in love. My wife and I I bought this saxophone off Craigslist in an H‑E‑B parking lot and I learned to play watching YouTube. Gotta love H‑E‑B.” He immediately launched into the next tune.
An ice cream truck playing Beethoven’s “Für Elise” from across the lake. A toddler on my side of the lake heard it and started crying for ice cream while the parent tried to explain that they couldn’t get to it in time.
A gen X person talking with a group of their friends: I exposed myself on the podcast. That’d be an awesome t-shirt, actually! Size large, please! Hahaha…… No really, I haven’t had a drink in 16 days because of it.